On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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Women's Rights

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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