Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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Im getting sick of holocaust jokes cant you Nazi Annefrankly they are dumb

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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im black

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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This post contains NOTHING.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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