What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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George W. Bush

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Women's Rights

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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