There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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but there is a road to the super market

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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haha.

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Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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What should I name my dog?

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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