What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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I LIKE TURLES.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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