What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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My mom's dead

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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