How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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