My mom's dead

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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