A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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whats red white and blue? i dont know

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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