How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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It's your mother, open the door.

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Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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A fat man buys a salad

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What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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Obama.

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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