Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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W.N.B.A.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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Baseball

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Herman Cain

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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