How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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W.N.B.A.

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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