How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

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What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

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A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

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Sea World Japan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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