Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Noah is Smart.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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