What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

thumb_up thumb_down +5

In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

No.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops