What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what do you call a cup?... a cup

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +36

?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

thumb_up thumb_down +32

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops