A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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My mom's dead

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Justin Bieber

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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