What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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Baseball

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

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Canada

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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