What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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PENIS

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

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25

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What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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you are gay

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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