How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

What is 6 plus 9? 15

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

Baseball

your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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