How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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25

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Roses are red Vilots are blue God made people pretty What the happend to you

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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Knock knock! Yes?

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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How do you get a dead baby out of a blender? Doritos.

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yo momma's so fat that when she walked into church she had a nice conversation with some people who encouraged her to start eating better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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