There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down +9

In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

This joke isnt funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

jokes r dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +5

penisface

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

...and I'm a Mormon.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops