A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

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Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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whats round and like a ball a ball

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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