How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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drugs.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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