What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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Oliver's friends

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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Q: What did 0 say to 8. A: Nothing...However multiplied they equal 0

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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Hello

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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Chaney is a dumb b****

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

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Men's rights

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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Dozer has a soul

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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