why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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where's waldo? in a picture book.

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Pickle!

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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your mother is so lesbian

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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Dead babies.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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oops

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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