Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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. Deez nuts Ok

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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Why did little Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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If i was a chicken i would probably not be on this site. But i am, so you can all suck it!!!! BAHHHH i'm a frog EJ

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

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Your mom is so fat, she has crippling depression and has tried killing herself three times.

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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How do you get a dead baby out of a blender? Doritos.

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What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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