what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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Women rights.

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Yo mama so fat she died

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

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I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops