Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Mmmmmmm Lemons

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

jack shine has boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down +11

In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops