Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops