How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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Your mum is dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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Women's Rights

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What break when you talk?

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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