How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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W.N.B.A.

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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9:11 make a wish

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops