What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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Women's Basketball.

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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