How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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Knock, knock. Come in!

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What's 6+2? 16

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Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Your breath smells like onions.

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Why did the Nigger fuck shit? He was a shit fucking Nigger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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