You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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What should I name my dog?

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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