Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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womans rights

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Obama.

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

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A fat man buys a salad

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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