Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

thumb_up thumb_down +30

One time i ate a sandwich it was good

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

newt gingrich

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Sea World Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

your life

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops