A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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Whats worse than receiving a dollar? Receiving a penny.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

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Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

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*Knock* *Knock* Who's there? The IRS

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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