A fat man buys a salad

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Penis

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops