When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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There was 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. I don't know the rest of the story but the ending was when they guy came all over their faces.

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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NEIL PERT IS THE GREATEST DRUMMER OF ALL TIME!! I LOIVE SMOSH VIDEOS I SEENT EVERY ONE LOLOL

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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