Dear John,

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So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

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lol

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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What's the capital of Thailand? The letter 'T'...

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Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Down Syndrome

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dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

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clown penis dot fart? dangle pussy

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a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

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A man buys free health care...

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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