A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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newt gingrich

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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justin littleton. nuff said

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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