Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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