What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops