Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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jack shine has boobs

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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George W. Bush

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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