How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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steves legs

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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Penis

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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Want to hear an anti-joke?

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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want to go home? yea

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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If i was a chicken i would probably not be on this site. But i am, so you can all suck it!!!! BAHHHH i'm a frog EJ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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