3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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jack shine has boobs

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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Women's rights.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Google Doodles

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Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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