Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

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Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

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Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

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What do you call a school bus full of white kids? A school bus.

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What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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How do racist jokes start? Generally with a racially insensitive stereotype.

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what was the dying mans last words? im dying

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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lololololololololol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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