Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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whats red white and blue? i dont know

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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What should I name my dog?

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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Adam Sandler.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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