A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

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What does a man like. food.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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