What should I name my dog?

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Noah is Smart.

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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