What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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Women's Rights

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Women's rights.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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No.

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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two fish are in a tank.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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