what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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a guy asks another guy if he likes pepsi or coke the guy says coke and he doesnt agree so he kills him

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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your face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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lol

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What's the differance between a pile of leaves and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a pile of leaves burning in my backyard.

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Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

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Your doorbell is broken.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Its dad mom died....

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dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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Where else? The junk yard

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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whats red white and blue? i dont know

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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