Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Guess what? Chicken butt

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a glue factory..

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Justin Littleton getting laid.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

thumb_up thumb_down +12

look at there!! an entire dog!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What would we do with out women? Die and then become extinct

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops