Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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A man buys free health care...

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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