Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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whats red white and blue? i dont know

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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alcoholism kills

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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