Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

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penis

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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Nickelback.

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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Women's Rights

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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What break when you talk?

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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