What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What break when you talk?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops