A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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i fondle myself every night....

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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alcoholism kills

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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whats red white and blue? i dont know

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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