How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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Women's Basketball.

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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Yo mama so fat she died

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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