A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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a banana

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No entiendo PORQUE cada día amanezco

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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DONALD TRUMP DIES

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops