Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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A man walks into a bar.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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