What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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