Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Jewish People

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +15

God.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops