Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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steves legs

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Penis

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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Want to hear an anti-joke?

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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want to go home? yea

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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If i was a chicken i would probably not be on this site. But i am, so you can all suck it!!!! BAHHHH i'm a frog EJ

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your moms so fat when she sat on your ipod it turned into an ipad

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Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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