Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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Where else? The junk yard

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alcoholism kills

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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I dislike old people.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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haha.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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