If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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How do you leave a man in suspense...

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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sweaty black guy

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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