A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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