A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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whats red white and blue? i dont know

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Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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I have read and agree to terms of service.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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I dislike old people.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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drugs.

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A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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