W.N.B.A.

What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

(insert Anti-Joke here)

Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

Mmmmmmm Lemons

jack shine has boobs

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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