whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

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So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

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Kim Kardashian's Marriage.

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why didn't bobby eat breakfast? because i stapled his head to the floor

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

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Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Religion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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