A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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. Deez nuts Ok

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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