barack osama

how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

Women Drivers.

Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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