How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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Jewish People

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

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Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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God.

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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