Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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whats better than shoes feet

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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9:11 make a wish

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

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jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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