Your mum is dead

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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Nickelback.

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jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

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What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

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why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

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penisface

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steves legs

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Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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