what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down

I have read the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

thumb_up thumb_down -4

you just lost the game!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Kim Kardashian's Marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why didn't bobby eat breakfast? because i stapled his head to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops