A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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