So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Women rights.

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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