Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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George W. Bush

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

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What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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Baseball

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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your momma's an antijoke

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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