What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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69

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Jewish People

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Knock Knock. Go away!

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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God.

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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