A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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I dislike old people.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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