What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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Chocolate tastes good.

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Why did the white comedian get booed off stage? Because his jokes were humorless and offensive.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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Adam gives a new view of roid rage

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Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

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knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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