Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

I'm gay. Great me too.

What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

What has human male genitalia? A human male

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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