Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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barack osama

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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Women Drivers.

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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