Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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