When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a skank.

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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Nickelback.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

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Women's Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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