what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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justin littleton. nuff said

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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I am a real homosexual

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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Women

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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