that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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I am a real homosexual

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You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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