How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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Women's Basketball.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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