A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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Women

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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Obama.

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A fat man buys a salad

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What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

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a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

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jack shine has boobs

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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