A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Down Syndrome

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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What should I name my dog?

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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