What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

I have read and agree to terms of service.

When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

I dislike old people.

What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

barack osama

Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

Whats long and hard? a pole

What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

Fruitcake

Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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