What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

Nickelback.

What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

Women's Rights

Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

What break when you talk?

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

your momma's an antijoke

Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

Rebecca Black sings a song.

Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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