Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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barack osama

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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whats round and like a ball a ball

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops