that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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I am a real homosexual

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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Nickelback.

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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