What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

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Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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God.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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Your mum is dead

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops