roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Giving birth to the antichrist

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down

Come in

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops