- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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Your life That's the joke

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Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

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newt gingrich

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whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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I LIKE TURLES.

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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a man walks into a bar.......ouch

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What comes after "Q" R

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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