A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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I am a real homosexual

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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George W. Bush

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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