What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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Aodhan Hearty

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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your all shit at jokes

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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i am predestal

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What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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