roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Haha pizza

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Fruitcake

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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