Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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your life

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

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69

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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