Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

thumb_up thumb_down +14

On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops