Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

I can't think of a joke!

Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

A black horse and a white horse were running through a field. Suddenly, the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. They passed a tree. There was a Russian man sitting under the tree. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. They lost. The Russian decided that they really didn’t make great racehorses, so he set them free. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was a Mexican man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. Again, they lost, so the Mexican set them free in the field. The following day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an Italian man. He said, “Wow, these would make such great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. Once again, the horses did not win, so the Italian let them go. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were again running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an Asian man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. The horses lost, so the Asian man released them. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an African man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. The horses lost again, so the African man released them. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an American man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. They lost, so the American sadly let them go. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an platypus. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” Then the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the black horse said, “Wow, a talking platypus!”

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

Violets are red Roses are blue I scrrewed that up Now can i screw you?

If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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