Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

62

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +38

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +36

First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two women were sitting in silence.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

this website...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops