How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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