When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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I am black.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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