what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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Got milk? No.

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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