What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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One Big Ass Mistake America

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

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Women

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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George W. Bush

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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