Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Simon Cowell's hair is real.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

do you know a really good joke? i don't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops