wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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I remember my first "I remember my first-" joke

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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