What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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Your mom is so fat, she has crippling depression and has tried killing herself three times.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

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Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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Dan O'Driscoll

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What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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Justin Bieber

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

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Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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