jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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I am really good at math debating

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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Baseball

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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What's (333x4)-198+(456x100,432)-10+5? Bet ya said i don't know! I don't either.

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Why did the black man rob the russian guy? He didn't. He was too scared.

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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