Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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if it's friday, it must be China

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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Why was the little Latino boy sad? Because his father sexually molested him earlier in the evening.

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What's grosser than gross? Grosser. What's grosser than that? Grossest.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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I have read and agree to terms of service.

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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