Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

you wanna hear a joke? no

thumb_up thumb_down +16

ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

thumb_up thumb_down +14

God.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A fat man buys a salad

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a skank.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Giving birth to the antichrist

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops