Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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Whats worse than your camera not working? getting hit by a fridge during the Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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