Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he enjoyed his day viewing many sea animals while buying a souvenier on his way out.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

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Oliver's friends

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops