when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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pubic lice.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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Google Doodles

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An Irishman stays home

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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your momma's an antijoke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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