Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

nice shorts.

'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

Haha pizza

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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