Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he enjoyed his day viewing many sea animals while buying a souvenier on his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I am a real homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do Africans live in slums Because they have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops