What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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Women

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

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jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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Women's Rights

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

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A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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