A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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Your mum is dead

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Nickelback.

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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George W. Bush

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

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What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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Baseball

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? the wnba

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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