Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

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Nickelback.

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penis

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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