Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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One Big Ass Mistake America

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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Indeed.

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a skank.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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