This is not Will Smith.

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus doesn't exist. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid, you're standing right next to me!"

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Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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I am a real homosexual

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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Knock Knock. Go away!

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Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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What break when you talk?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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