A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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