hahaha

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Aodhan Hearty

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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I am a real homosexual

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Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

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Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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