When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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the WNBA

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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your momma's an antijoke

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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two fish are in a tank.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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you are gay

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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