Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Fruitcake

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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newt gingrich

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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