What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +26

25

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

thumb_up thumb_down +24

where's waldo? in a picture book.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Oliver's friends

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops