What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

One time i ate a sandwich it was good

What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

newt gingrich

What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

Obamacare!

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

justin littleton. nuff said

Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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