what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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beiber i straight

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What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

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A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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