A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Covietz has a large penis

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

thumb_up thumb_down +16

WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Josh kissing a girl

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +12

corey is a nipplepotomus

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Muslim blows up a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops