Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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oops

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

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corey is a nipplepotomus

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops