Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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What has human male genitalia? A human male

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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dead babies

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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