Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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haha.

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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69

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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