The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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alcoholism kills

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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The WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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