two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

thumb_up thumb_down +51

When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

I dislike old people.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

nice shorts.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

thumb_up thumb_down +41

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +39

a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Haha pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Rosea's afre rewd Voleasts a/ere bluejw I ahve parkinson's dise'ase it ttook 4 hoiurs to w'irite this

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops