If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus doesn't exist. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid, you're standing right next to me!"

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Knock Knock. Go away!

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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