What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

thumb_up thumb_down +18

This post contains NOTHING.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the mole say? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

God.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A fat man buys a salad

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

FOLLOW ME @airvvv

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops