haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Your doorbell is broken.

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your TV

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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Whats worse than receiving a dollar? Receiving a penny.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

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the your face joke

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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