Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

whats round and like a ball a ball

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

thumb_up thumb_down +41

how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Niko isnt a mexican douche

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Mmmm, donuts

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops