did you know Helen Keller had a dog? neither did she.

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Hey what time is it. 3:15

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

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yo momma's so fat that when she walked into church she had a nice conversation with some people who encouraged her to start eating better.

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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Hi poop!

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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Y2K

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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