A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

This post contains NOTHING.

What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

what do u call a hobo name Max Max

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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