What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

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jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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Baseball

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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I am really good at math debating

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I don't get it

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops