Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

...and I'm a Mormon.

What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

Men's rights

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

two fish are in a tank.

Knock Knock Good one...

Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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