the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops