What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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Men's rights

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Knock Knock Good one...

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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two fish are in a tank.

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Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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What would we do with out women? Die and then become extinct

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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