Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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What has human male genitalia? A human male

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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Go away.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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25

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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