your mom is so old that she farts dust.

A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

What's funnier than 24? 25.

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

69

Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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