Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

drugs.

What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

whats round and like a ball a ball

Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

Niko isnt a mexican douche

Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

Mmmm, donuts

Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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