what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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a banana

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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