*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

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Your mom is so fat, she has crippling depression and has tried killing herself three times.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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Whats worse than receiving a dollar? Receiving a penny.

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It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

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Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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