What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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the joke below me is not an anti joke

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Your life That's the joke

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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