Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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Yo mama so fat she died

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops