How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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A man buys free health care...

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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