Satan called. I put him on hold.

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Down Syndrome

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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