suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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A Jew returns change.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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marble

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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My sister has to take a dump

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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nice shorts.

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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