How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

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Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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