What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

A bar walks into your mother.

Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

This post contains NOTHING.

What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

justin littleton. nuff said

What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...