Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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Go away.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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DONALD TRUMP DIES

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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