Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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Want to hear an anti-joke?

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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a black father

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a PENIS

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Hi poop!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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