- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

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why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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This site is hilarious oh wait...

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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women's rights

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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W.N.B.A.

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops