What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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okay.....

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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Dear John,

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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if it's friday, it must be China

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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