What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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what was the dying mans last words? im dying

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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if it's friday, it must be China

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Hitler

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abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

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I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

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I have read and agree to terms of service.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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