What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

gay marriage.

What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

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An Irishman stays home

A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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