You're so straight!

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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The WNBA

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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Mmmm, donuts

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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Real jokes.

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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9/11

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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What has human male genitalia? A human male

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a banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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