What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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...Jack Vale

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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Niko isnt a mexican douche

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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whats round and like a ball a ball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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