Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

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Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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knock knock come in

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What does a man like. food.

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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