What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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