What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

Slavery

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

DONALD TRUMP DIES

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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