Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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Mmmm, donuts

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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Real jokes.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

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Chocolate Bananas with Brocclie.wom

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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Your life That's the joke

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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AROUND

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Anti jokes are funny

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So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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