Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

Women's rights

What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

AROUND

Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

i have 2 penises

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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