my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he enjoyed his day viewing many sea animals while buying a souvenier on his way out.

Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

I love boobs

You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

Josh kissing a girl

What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

Aodhan Hearty

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

Why did Jill come "tumbling" down the hill after Jack broke his crown? She fell running on a hill, essentially why Jack broke his crown.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...