How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

Connor "Rusty" McLeod

Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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