how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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The geese of Growmore

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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Your life That's the joke

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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