How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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I won the game.

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9/11

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops