Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

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One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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drugs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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