How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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*Knock* *Knock* Who's there? The IRS

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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