I had a dream I watched Inception.

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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jokes r dumb

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Brittney Spears

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? the wnba

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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