Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

Women's rights

Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

What has human male genitalia? A human male

A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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