What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

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Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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gesss what happen u promis not to tell anyone ok this is what happen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING

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What does a man like. food.

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

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why did the man die? he got shot

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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if u r not my friend, like this joke

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Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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