my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

I love boobs

You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

Josh kissing a girl

How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

Why do Africans live in slums Because they have aids

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

Why did Jill come "tumbling" down the hill after Jack broke his crown? She fell running on a hill, essentially why Jack broke his crown.

What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...