- Anti Joke

A man is getting bored of his regular life-routine and decides to make a change. He thinks long and hard about what change he should make and after much deliberation he resolves to buy himself a pet camel. After all, some of his more fashionable friends have done this and it seems to make them very happy indeed and attracts to them a lot of attention, which they relish. He pops down to the local pet store and asks the owner "Do you have any camels?". To which the pet store owner replies "Yes of course! They're very popular at the moment and I have a selection out back in the stables. Come and take your pick!" So after inspecting the selection of available camels, the man pays the shopkeeper for the camel and a camel-leash and makes his way home, walking down the street and around the woods that separate the pet shop from his house. The camel is very well behaved and always walks at heel. The man is very happy with his purchase and starts thinking that this was definitely the best decision he could have made to improve his life. That night, the man tucks the camel up in it's straw bed in a makeshift shelter in the back garden, kisses it on the nose and says good night. The next morning, after an excellent nights sleep, he bounds downstairs, eager to have more fun with his camel. He throws open the doors of the shelter, grinning and excitable. But to his horror, he finds that the camel is dead. With no legs! Someone must have sneaked in during the night and killed his camel and taken its legs! The man is inconsolable. He cries and cries, and eventually he summons the energy to lay his camel to rest in a grave at the end of the garden, digging it plenty deep enough and saying a few private words in memory of his dearly loved, departed camel. After this he realises that he wants to try again to have his own camel, and this time he will keep his camel safe and even more comfortable. He will even take the time to give this second camel a name. So he walks to the pet shop, around the woods and down the street and goes to speak to the owner. “I just don’t understand”, says the man. “My camel meant the world to me and someone came along and killed it during the night…. and they took it’s legs.” “Disgusting,” replies the shopkeeper as he saddles up the second camel and exchanges money with the man. Anyway, he takes his camel home, walking down the street and around the woods, promising himself that he will do a better job of protecting it. He calls his brother who comes over from the next town to help him build a strong stables for the new camel and they install a security camera for extra safety. At night, the man kisses his camel on the nose, tucks it in to its hay bed, closes and locks the door, and heads to bed. Feeling warm and safe in the knowledge that this camel is safe and sound in its new home. He decides on a name. “Greg”, he mutters to himself as he falls asleep, “yes, Greg”. The next morning, as he bounds downstairs, calling out Greg’s name, he sees that the security camera is loose and hanging from the wall… He approaches the stable cautiously, with a baseball bat held ready to attack any intruders. What he sees horrifies him. His camel is Dead! Again! And with no legs! “What, oh what is going on?” he mutters to himself in a state of shock and confusion. He cries for a few hours, and buries the remains of the camel in the back garden. “OK,” he thinks to himself. “One more go, and if this doesn’t work, I’ll never buy a camel again!”. So he sets out for the pet shop. This time taking a shortcut through the woods, as it is a nice day and he could do with cheering up. As he passes through the deepest part of the woods he comes across an old mansion house that he has never noticed before… He reflects for a second, and wonders whether he should go and ask them if they’ve been having similar troubles with their camels. He decides there would be no harm in doing so, so he walks up their ivy-covered driveway towards the front door and when he gets there he knocks. Rat-a-tat-tat The heavy door squeaks and opens a touch. “Strange..” he thinks. He pushes harder and swings the door to be fully open. As he does so, the sunlight is allowed to shine in on the dark interior, it looks like a carnival haunted house, with cobwebs on candlesticks and dust everywhere. As the light cascades in, filling the room, and as his eyes adjust he sees a man, old and dishevelled, standing in the middle of the room, still as a statue, surrounded, from wall to wall, by camel legs hanging from the walls. Our man gasps and struggles not to vomit with disgust. He looks at the old man accusingly and in a shaky voiced murmur, he half whispers the words, “Have YOU been stealing my camel legs?” To which the man replies, “No.”

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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