ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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Brittney Spears

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? the wnba

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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sixty....eight.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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option 1, minecraft VS option 2, friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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