An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Slavery

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Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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69

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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