What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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Women's Golf

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Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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hahaha

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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Brittney Spears

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops