A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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this website...

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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Women's rights

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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penis

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops