Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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penis

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

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newt gingrich

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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anus soup

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops