What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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nathan palmer has a big head !

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this website...

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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Why....... Because.

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops