Real jokes.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Women's rights

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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A bar walks into your mother.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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a banana

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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i have 2 penises

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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