Pickle!

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

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Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

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What comes after "Q" R

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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Why did the sprinter lose the race He had no legs

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What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops