milly, milly, milly, cat

thumb_up thumb_down +25

i have 2 penises

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Potato salad

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Obamacare!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops