Hi poop!

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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chuck norris

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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