What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

I walked into a dark ally at night and ran into 2 black men They severely beat me then while unconscious brutally raped me. I then spent 5 weeks in the hospital in a deep coma.

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

you wanna hear a joke? no

What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

knock knock whos there .. derp

Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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