What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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Benevolent villain.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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25

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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