Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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Real jokes.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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What has human male genitalia? A human male

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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AROUND

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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