9/11

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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amy copied adams haircut :0

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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Oliver's friends

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A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops