An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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Pickle!

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

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A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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Penis

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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DONALD TRUMP DIES

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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