How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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28

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An Irishman stays home

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

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Jack Oliver has a Bowl.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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knock knock come in

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How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so does your mom…

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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