Satan called. I put him on hold.

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

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A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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Got milk? No.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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