Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

thumb_up thumb_down -2

your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's 6+2? 16

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

thumb_up thumb_down -16

marble

thumb_up thumb_down -20

69

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

thumb_up thumb_down -88

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops