husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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sixty....eight.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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Want to hear an anti-joke?

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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Q) Why did Anti-joke start this webpage? A) Probably to make people laugh. and to show some irony in a few common jokes.

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so does your mom…

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What's worse than anti-joke.com? Non-anti-joke.com! Louis

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a black father

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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