Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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The WNBA

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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nathan palmer has a big head !

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why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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