What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

Slavery

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

Lacrosse

What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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