Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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I can't think of a joke!

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your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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What's 6+2? 16

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

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marble

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69

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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