The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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^that joke's not funny

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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