What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

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Women's Golf

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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Justin Littleton getting laid.

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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