why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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SAY

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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Brittney Spears

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gay marriage.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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what's the difference between a babie and a watermelon. one's fun to hit with a hammer. . . ht other ones a watermelon.

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cheese

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? the wnba

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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Jack Oliver has a Bowl.

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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Bing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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