What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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What's worse then having Casey Anthony babysit your child? A girl asking, "Is it in?"

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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Obama.

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

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Why did the Black Man only eat one apple a day? He was trying to stay healthy. On an unrelated note he was under the poverty line, and addicted to an illegal substance. He does not represent African-American society very well.

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the WNBA

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a group of asians? China.

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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