what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

Why....... Because.

Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

What did the guy say to the mushroom?

milly, milly, milly, cat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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