Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Knock Knock Whos there? Its dad mom died....

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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marble

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops