What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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I can't think of a joke!

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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25

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What's 6+2? 16

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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if it's friday, it must be China

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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