What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

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which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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Nickelback

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

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Exactly what?

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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gay marriage.

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

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knock knock come in

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What does a man like. food.

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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