Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

what is brown and sticky? a stick

A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

^that joke's not funny

If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...