Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a mammal.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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God is religiously proven to be real

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corey is a nipplepotomus

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the WNBA

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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