One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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gays

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How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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Penis

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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