Real jokes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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Anti jokes are funny

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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