Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

One time i ate a sandwich it was good

what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

DONALD TRUMP DIES

why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...