Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

9:11 make a wish

What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

SAY

What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

A fat man buys a salad

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

Why did Jill come "tumbling" down the hill after Jack broke his crown? She fell running on a hill, essentially why Jack broke his crown.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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