How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

-Knock knock -Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops