a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

^that joke's not funny

thumb_up thumb_down +49

whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Niko isnt a mexican douche

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops