SAY

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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what's the difference between a babie and a watermelon. one's fun to hit with a hammer. . . ht other ones a watermelon.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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corey is a nipplepotomus

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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