Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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28

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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a horse walks into a barn

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a mammal.

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I had a dream I watched Inception.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Baseball

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Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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Knock Knock Good one...

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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pubic lice.

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops