What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

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Shit.

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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AROUND

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amy copied adams haircut :0

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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