Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

thumb_up thumb_down -81

What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +58

When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Two women were sitting in silence.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops