What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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I like to eat.

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Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

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Why....... Because.

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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Women rights.

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

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Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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