I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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Oliver's friends

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

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Women's Golf

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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9:11 make a wish

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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Justin Littleton getting laid.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

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Q: Why was the man hit by the train? A: He was tied to the rail road tracks...

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops