option 1, minecraft VS option 2, friends

Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

A man walks into a bar every night. He works there.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

a mexican, an asian and a black are all in a car, who's the driver? their friend bill who offered to take them to the upcoming three days grace concert.

whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

The outside of my house is painted yellow.

What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

Q) Why did Anti-joke start this webpage? A) Probably to make people laugh. and to show some irony in a few common jokes.

What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

What's 6+2? 16

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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