A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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Q: What did 0 say to 8. A: Nothing...However multiplied they equal 0

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johann grayson being liked

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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God is religiously proven to be real

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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The outside of my house is painted yellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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