A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

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Penis

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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Canada

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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What does a man like. food.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

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noodles

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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if it's friday, it must be China

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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