Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

thumb_up thumb_down +53

SPAMS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

thumb_up thumb_down +41

'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

nice shorts.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

That's what he said.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops