What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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God is religiously proven to be real

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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The outside of my house is painted yellow.

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pubic lice.

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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Penis

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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okay.....

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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69

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Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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