Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

Real jokes.

What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

One time i ate a sandwich it was good

What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

DONALD TRUMP DIES

why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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