Wat do u call a 2 root tall scottidh man named max? Max

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Dead babies.

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What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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I walked into a dark ally at night and ran into 2 black men They severely beat me then while unconscious brutally raped me. I then spent 5 weeks in the hospital in a deep coma.

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a mammal.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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gays

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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Knock Knock Good one...

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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