What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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gays

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God is religiously proven to be real

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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