- Anti Joke

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

Why did a man get arrested in a bar He was covered in bombs and charged with terrorism

Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

The jets are a good team..

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

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