what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats straight as a fudge packer kyle grund

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

thumb_up thumb_down +12

SAY

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Brittney Spears

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

gay marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's the difference between a babie and a watermelon. one's fun to hit with a hammer. . . ht other ones a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops