"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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josh simpson has cancer

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops