wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

thumb_up thumb_down -4

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Canada

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the differance between a pile of leaves and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a pile of leaves burning in my backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

marble

thumb_up thumb_down -16

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

123456789

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

thumb_up thumb_down -40

One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

thumb_up thumb_down -50

what is brown and sticky? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops