How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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