A baby seal walks into a club

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

Robin, get in the car.

why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

anus soup

What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

How do you make a grilled cheese for a black guy? Butter two pieces of bread, place two slices of any kind of cheese in between the pieces of bread, then fry it in a pan with butter.

Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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