- Anti Joke

One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

What's brown and sticky? A stick

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

steves legs

Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

If TACOS are Mexican PASTA is Italian HAMBURGER is American Then what is pizza???..... Dough, Cheese and Sauce Just Kidding, that was bad..... Turtles..... :D

What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

Three men walked into a metal pole

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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