A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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Chocolate tastes good.

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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AROUND

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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