Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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I had a dream I watched Inception.

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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Jasper sucks.

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whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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Men's rights

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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Why did a man get arrested in a bar He was covered in bombs and charged with terrorism

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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I can't think of a joke!

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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