Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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josh simpson has cancer

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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i have 2 penises

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Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

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the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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