Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

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A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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^that joke's not funny

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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