A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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ur mother

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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throbbing slobber

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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nice shorts.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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9/11

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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