How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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Chocolate tastes good.

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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