What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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...Jack Vale

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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You're so straight!

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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