What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

9/11

I'm gay. Great me too.

What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

A baby seal walks into a club

Herman Cain

What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

This is not Will Smith.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...