why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

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How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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A man buys free health care...

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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