why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

Hey, come here often? No.

what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

Myspace

Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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