Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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What do black men do in the South? Hang around

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

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A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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