why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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