9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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SPAMS!!!

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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