If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

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Hello

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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Canada

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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