Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

The number one killer of daredevil's is the ground.

Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a finger And the middle ones for you

professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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