Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

Pickle!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

Why did the sprinter lose the race He had no legs

Penis

What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

DANA

Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

Penis

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

look at there!! an entire dog!!

Pandas Everywhere!!!

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

A fat man buys a salad

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a mammal.

Mmmmmmm Lemons

So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

Brienna Chladek (515)556-4811. Call me;) anytime I'm a teenager:) xoxo

What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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