Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

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How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

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sixty....eight.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Please don't rape me.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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Men's rights

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

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Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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