Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Mexicans working in an office

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Slavery lol

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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Santa Clogged my toliet

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

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a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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