What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

thumb_up thumb_down -92

What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Rob Bell

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops