Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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ha do call a by with red heir a freckles? ginger

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

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What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, yes.

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Freedom of Speech

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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9:11 make a wish

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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