Mmmmmmm Lemons

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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corey is a nipplepotomus

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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the WNBA

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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I had a dream I watched Inception.

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Baseball

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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The outside of my house is painted yellow.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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