What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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My dad beats my mom At checkers

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corey is a nipplepotomus

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Benevolent villain.

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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