Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

barack osama

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +36

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why....... Because.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Chocolate rain Awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops