1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

a horse walks into a barn

What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

God is religiously proven to be real

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus doesn't exist. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid, you're standing right next to me!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a skank.

How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

what did the black man do for his family? nothing

Why did the chicken cross the road? the wnba

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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