How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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why did the man die? he got shot

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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If TACOS are Mexican PASTA is Italian HAMBURGER is American Then what is pizza???..... Dough, Cheese and Sauce Just Kidding, that was bad..... Turtles..... :D

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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