- Anti Joke

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

Benevolent villain.

Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

Two Jews walk in a bar...

what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

why did the boy poop his pants Yhe Holocaust

Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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