What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

beiber i straight

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. F uck off.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +4

69

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down

professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops