What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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Three men walked into a metal pole

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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Santa Clogged my toliet

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops