Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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Chocolate tastes good.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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nice shorts.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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nbjhfghl

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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