How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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A van drives into a car.

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

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what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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