How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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What's 6+2? 16

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

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throbbing slobber

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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The WNBA

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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