69

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Benevolent villain.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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if it's friday, it must be China

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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