What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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A black succeeds

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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