Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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