Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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james schmitt whats your last name

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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^that joke's not funny

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

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Shit.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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