Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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A person with OCD walked into a abr.

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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Miscarriages.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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gays

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Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Benevolent villain.

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how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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