9:11 make a wish

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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God is religiously proven to be real

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

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Exactly what?

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whats straight as a fudge packer kyle grund

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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I had a dream I watched Inception.

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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