Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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