What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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