Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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