Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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