What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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You know what's funny? Rape

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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