An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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