Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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