There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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Weaner

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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