A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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