What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Women's Rights

What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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