Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

I don't drink. I'm not 21.

What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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