three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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Half life 3 confirmed

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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what's black? a lot of things.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

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Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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