My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

poopy is poopy

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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