I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops