roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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