A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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I am a mime

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why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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