What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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