Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

Why do fat people commit suicide

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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