Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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knock knock who's there ?

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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