What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops