why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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