While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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