Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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Yes

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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Peas

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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