What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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