Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Puns are terrible. I love them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops