how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

AIDS

What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

A woman is carried out of a bar.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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