I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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