Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Weaner

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civil rights

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops