Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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Once upon a time a was born

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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How old are you? 7

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops