what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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