Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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sadf

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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