Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Brain fart

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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