why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Pain Olympics.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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penis. nuff said.

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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Whats the answer to life? im not sure

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops