- Anti Joke

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed