If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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Why? Because.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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