what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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every knight i see an owl at window

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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