what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

So a man walks into a bar... ouch

What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

Cripples are lame.

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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