What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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