what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops