How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

how many flys in a box six --sticksack

Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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