Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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