John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how many flys in a box six --sticksack

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops