my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops