Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops