Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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White men's rights

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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NEVER

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops