You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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