Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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Who's Micheal Jackson?

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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jamie is a noob jamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noob

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Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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What's worse than being a midget Being a midget with no legs

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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