What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops