Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

A knock knock B who's there A nobody

chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

What's worse than dieing? Not much.

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

What's white and sticky.... Jizz

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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