Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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