Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops