-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer was depressed about the low business and farmer's economy, so he poured gasoline all over himself and lit a match. The barn burned down and the chicken was the only survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats funnier than 24?????????????????????????????????????????? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops