Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

H2O corndogs running around naked CC

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

Golf.

Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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